(b) Try to keep both logically and emotionally balanced, be very frank about things and share your personal opinions. "We're all wired very differently. The most natural thing to do when faced with a difficult person or situation is to react. There are two distinct types of difficult conversation, planned and unplanned: Planned conversations occur when the subject has been given thought, they are planned as the time, place and other circumstances have been arranged or are chosen for a reason.. Its very important to stand up to bullies, and you dont have to do it alone. While greater awareness has led to a larger discussion on certain unethical behaviors when you encounter unethical behavior in your own workplace, you're then faced with an ethical dilemma of your ownwhat actions should you take? I first reached out to the top 10 names on that list. 4. 9. Before I talked to her, I reached out to some acquaintances from other companies, and one of them was hiring. It must not be easy to deal with his multiple issues at work and in personal life, This customer representative is so rude. 1. Related: 12 Ways Successful People Handle Toxic People. Here at MindOwl, we like to discuss awareness quite a lot. Keep your cool . Bear Encounters: How To Properly React Agnieszka Spieszny 08.30.11 On an intense backcountry hiking or camping trip you can expect to spot and smell bears native to the area. Be aware of any negative thoughts (like "I can't do this"), and replace them with more encouraging words. Example Answer: Contact law enforcement if you have to. In the first week of my internship, a client asked for a major change on their website just a few days before its launch. He is the founder of the wellness brand Penguin CBD. I did not focus on his behavior, but rather on what we could do to exceed his expectations. Confrontational and hostile individuals, in particular, want to deprive you of your rights so they can control and take advantage of you. I know I can manage this. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Can Good Relationship Experiences Change Attachment Styles? When someones pressuring you to make a decision youre not sure about, simply buy time and say: Ill think about it. This phrase can instantly lift the psychological pressure, and put you in greater control of the situation. I made notes of the issues he raised. In response to these strains your body automatically increases blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, metabolism, and blood flow to you muscles. I had never done that before, but I embraced the challenge. Shift your thinking right away and accept that the problem is indeed happening. Keep your cool.always This is the Number 1 rule to remember when dealing with a challenging client. This is exemplified by the famous White Bear experiment in which the participant is asked to not think of a white bear. One act of rudeness can easily spiral and cause other acts of rudeness, spreading foul tempers and poor behavior in its wake. For challenging patients, set boundaries or modify your schedule if needed. If someone is having a momentary lapse in manners , this may help the person become aware of their negative behavior. They solved the problem and offered a bonus to try to make the customer satisfied despite what had happened. Whether youre dealing with an angry driver, a pushy relative, or a domineering supervisor, keep a healthy distance, and avoid engagement unless you absolutely have to. If not, she may want to be available if the issue can't be resolved between you and the parents. I carefully explained to her that doing so was against the companys policies. Given that definition, not all stress is bad. I decided to stay and help the team anyway. When you have felt under attack or unsafe, have you ever noticed that your reaction only worsened the situation? Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. If you can find a way to show that you understand and care about them and what they are going through, they will feel more connected and less alone in their struggles. I also had the junior programmers do some of the work, which reduced the labor cost. The most important priority in the face of a confrontational and hostile individual is to protect yourself. These Fundamental Human Rights represent your boundaries. Simply use what works and discard the rest. With a little empathy you can defuse rudeness with kindness. Baruch Mann (Silvermann). 2. Morray Reaction - Bad Situations | First Time We React to Bad Situations! This . 10 Difficult Life Situations and How to Get Through It Remember, most of these situations are not under our control. Instead of arguing back, they listened, asked questions, and communicated frequently. All rights reserved worldwide. Ask yourself why you are feeling this way? The ability to identify and assert consequence(s) is one of the most important skills you can use to "stand down" a difficult person. He was angry about the problems we hadnt solved yet. Many bullies are also cowards on the inside. Key Takeaways: This answer shows the candidates ownership of their teams problem and how they took the initiative to solve it. You should never allow anyone to treat you in a disrespectful way. Dont downplay your strengths, but avoid sounding cocky. Simply utilize what works and leave the rest. The customer told me that they wanted to work with us in the future because they valued our judgment and appreciated the honest feedback we had given. You might find a way to mention that you've had rough days too, and you can relate to how the person is feeling. Action: Explain the actions you used to complete your task or solve your issue. Related: Understanding the Other Person's Perspective Will Radically Increase Your Success. Mindfulness journaling has become popular, [] Respond, dont React: Taming Stress through Mindful Presence [], MindOwl I used every minute I had to study everything he had already prepared and finish the presentation. So our internal response is still the same, but because we deal with it differently, our external response will be altered. When their victims begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, the bully will often back down. If you feel tense take a few deep breaths, keeping a slow and steady rhythm. Stress leaves an imprint on your brain that prepares you to handle similar stress the next time you encounter it. If this doesn't work, you can take pride in knowing that you didn't lower your standards or add your own rude behavior to the mix. Common behavioural reactions to trauma include: avoiding reminders of the event. Example Answer: Key Takeaways: This answer shows the candidate handled an angry customer in an effective way. However, with astute approach and assertive communication, you may turn aggression into cooperation, and coercion into respect. My manager asked me to fill in for him, but I wasnt familiar with the products he was selling to the client. Below are 10 ways to be less reactive in difficult situations, with excerpts from my book (click on title): How to Let Go of Negative Thoughts and Emotions. What all of these tips have in common is that they introduce a positive interruption to a negative mental or emotional state. Fear that others will notice that you look anxious. There's nothing you can do to force someone to behave. I decided to create a new version of that course, with videos and multiple-choice tests after each lesson. When negative emotions arise in our minds it could have been brought on by a stressful activity, We've all been there. All of us encounter experiences in life when we may be temporally overwhelmed by a negative emotion, be it anger, pressure, nervousness, despair, or confusion. All rights reserved worldwide. I saw that the reservations got canceled due to incorrect information, but my colleague hadnt noticed. Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. Ignoring right-of-way rules. So why not take note? A little reminder that kindness is contagious. Seek help and support if necessary. Direct: Step in and address what's happening directly. Be honest and realistic. They came up with solutions to lower costs and finish the project successfully. 2. People have all kinds of ulterior motives for acting as they do. In this video, we will be discussing three si Go beyond the meditation app! Our results also improved after that. used for saying that a situation has become very unpleasant, difficult, or unacceptable. Key Takeaways: In this example, the candidate had to join a project at the tail end and get up to speed quickly. And if not, it will at least help everyone else have a better day. Another tactic to stop the spiral of rudeness is to simply call them out on their behavior and ask them to stop. Drama potential: Obsessively clicking pens. Fortunately, you can relieve the stress of sudden, forced change by focusing on the positive outcomes change can bring, like becoming more agile, productive, and competitive. 6. Of course, our society is full of people who do not respect these rights. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours. , When youre angry or frustrated, say something nice to yourself. When I started my last job as an HR training specialist, I noticed that every internal audit revealed some of the same errors in certain HR processes. For example: Others have switched schools before and come through it. I checked the training material they used for the managers. . T: Task explain what the challenge in that situation was and include the main points. This is simply mindfulness intervention training. Preston Ni is a professor, presenter, private coach, and the author of Communication Success with Four Personality Types and How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People. Most of us encounter confrontational and hostile people at some points in our lives. It's the bully who's insecure.. Also,. Copyright violation may subject the violator to legal prosecution. However, if you need to see how this might manifest itself in this particular example then imagine youre about to give an important presentation at work. 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Every manager ending up taking the course, and after that, the internal audits showed we were performing those processes correctly. When standing up to bullies (in situations where something important is at stake), be sure to place yourself in a position where you can be safe, whether its standing tall on your own, having other people present to witness and support, or keeping a paper trail of the bullys inappropriate behavior. If they can't show you the same level of civility in return, it may be time to enlist the help of others. The Art of Color: The Subjective Experience and Objective Rationale of Color (1997). In most circumstances, by the time you reach ten, you would have figured out a better way of communicating the issue, so that you can reduce, instead of escalate the problem. What triggered it? Some stress happens as the result of a single, short-term event having an argument with a loved one, for example. Katie is the COO of a hospitality company. Deep breathing and counting to ten is very helpful. This in no way excuses bullying behavior, but may help you consider the bully in a more equanimous light. One of the most common characteristics of confrontational and hostile individuals is that they project their aggression to push your buttons and keep you off balance. Consult with trusted friends and advisors about different courses of action, with your personal well-being as the number one priority. It's easy to see how this happens. Key Takeaways: The candidate noticed a problem, came up with a good idea to solve the problem, and then took the initiative to make it happen. We've been complaining about it since the beginning of time -- Plato famously ranted about disrespectful and ill-mannered youths. You can also feel stress when you worry about things like your job, money, relationships, or a friend or family member who is ill or in crisis. More specifically, employers might ask a behavioral interview question, which requires you to share how you've responded to situations in the past that would be similar to what you might encounter at the new job. Situation: Explain the event/situation in a few concise sentences. Were never stuck unless we have blinders on. My colleague had sold them a vacation package, including reservations in a hotel in Orlando, Florida. After that, he was considerably easier to service. However, if your mindset and attitude towards this challenge tell you that you are prepared and capable of being successful then you will respond rather than react. You have the right to get what you pay for. So what do you do? When I got the first positive answer, I continued contacting the other people, now mentioning the one who had accepted, and so on. Depersonalize and Shift from Reactive to Proactive, Don't take anything personallyWhat others say and do is a projection of their own realityWhen you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering., Being mindful about the nature of confrontational and hostile people can help us de-personalize the situation, and turn from being reactive to proactive. Choose situations where you took responsibility for your failure, learned from it, and took steps to avoid recurrences of similar failures. Physician attitudes about care, fatigue, stress and burnout can create circumstances in which physicians are. 1. If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face, which triggers the mammalian diving reflex and immediately slows the heart rate between 10 to 25 percent. Physiology & Behavior (1992). Key Takeaways: It shows the candidates integrity and courage to do what is right even when having to stand up to a superior. You've probably been in a situation where someone reacted in a way that was too emotional, making you cringe or feel embarrassed for the person. Not only did the candidate do this, but they discovered a critical problem, had the courage to diplomatically raise the issue and worked to solve the problem in a way that minimized negative impact on the project goals. Oftentimes, an individual who is chronically confrontational and hostile simply isn't being her or himself. Rude behavior is catching: it tends to trigger more negative behavior. Route your response with them, and redirect the situation to regain control. For more tips on how to deal with difficult people, see my books How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People and How to Successfully Handle Passive-Aggressive People. 10 Ways to Overcome Challenges in Life 1. I graduated with a bachelors degree in philosophy before completing a masters degree in psychology at Regents University London. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment 11 (2013). If youre dealing with a difficult individual, try to put yourself in the challenging persons shoes, even for just a moment, and complete the sentence: It must not be easy For example: My child is being so resistant. Example Answer: A co-worker has the annoying habit of [blank] and you can't stand it anymore. He was surprised and said he didnt realize it. We often simply overlook or forget the importance of showing kindness, sympathy and understanding to others. It's human nature for an individual's first reaction to a suggested change to be a . Avoid problems that you created yourself. (6) Petruzzello, Steven J., Daniel M. Landers, and Walter Salazar. He was constantly overworked while my teammates and I had free time, so I decided to talk to him. But dont worry, this isnt as strict sentencing as it sounds. Then you might need to read on. Key Takeaways: The candidate showed well-thought reasoning in choosing who to fire. used about situations in which people are angry or violent. I decided to meet with him in person to understand him better and hopefully create a more positive dynamic. Logically, we know that just because we fell off of our bike that one time and got hurt, doesnt mean it will happen every time thereafter. 5. Take a deep breath and give yourself space to calm down if someone has upset you. Patel also worked with companies like Cellucor (maker of C4) and A.T. Kearney. Related: 10 Ways to Connect With Absolutely Anyone You Meet. People commonly refer to this . And as the cycle goes, your brain will associate feeling any unknown sensation in your body with the negative experience of an anxiety attack. From the Hansard archive I understand that the data I am submitting will be used to provide me with the above-described products and/or services and communications in connection therewith. You have the right to take care of and protect yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally. For example, if you have anxiety whenever you notice a physical ache and interpret this sensation as something critically wrong with your health, you might suffer from an anxiety attack if you react by worrying excessively and fail to recognize your thoughts and emotions rationally. A crucial idea to keep in mind when youre dealing with a difficult person is to know your rights, and recognize when theyre being violated. The basic emotions have a long history in human evolution, and they have developed in large part to help us make rapid judgments about stimuli and to quickly guide appropriate behaviour (LeDoux, 2000). Self-deprecating humor can also be disarming. The presentation was a success, and we were able to close the deal. It must not be easy to harbor negative energy all day long. Read our privacy policy for more information. During our meeting, I politely framed the issue in a way that communicated that we wanted to understand how to serve him better. We know that if we try to ignore or suppress negative emotions and thoughts then they will only get stronger. Breath work is a powerful tool that we can use to alter our mood and Mindfulness is the ability to live in the moment, embracing your current circumstances without judgment. Example Answer: (1) Adler, Ronald & Proctor II, Russell. The point is to remind yourself that people do what they do because of their own issues. You have the right to say no without feeling guilty. In this situation, you may either try to avoid giving your presentation, give your presentation but show signs of agitation and anxiety or try to give your presentation and freeze up. Rude behavior can spread like a disease if you let it. The past can create learned behaviours in our minds that become preprogrammed rather than reflecting our values and goals in a situation. Example Answer: Following are some of our fundamental human rights: You have the right to be treated with respect. Then use the STAR method to outline your talking points where you turn a tough situation into something positive and show youre a good fit for the job. A response is very different. Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when the behavior affects more than one person. The less reactive you are to provocations, the more you can use your better judgment to handle the situation. Instead, come up with multiple ways of viewing the situation before reacting. The Best Way to Respond. God uses problems to DIRECT you - Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. There are times when you may feel like youre stuck with a very difficult person, and theres no way out. In these situations, think outside the box. 2. Stress responses help your body adjust to new situations. Reviewed by Kaja Perina, Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.. Not all of these ideas may apply to your particular situation. Show your leadership, communication, and technical skills. Example Answer: They also showed compassion by actively seeking alternate employment for the employee. These hormones are. Example Answer: The best approach is to take a challenging difficult experience and use it to show your emotional intelligence and your work experience. 4. 4. If you are required to deal with a difficult individual, one of the most important rules of thumb to keep your cool. In some cases its just a normal person having a bad day. On an empathetic note, studies show that many bullies are victims of violence themselves. You take those negative feelings out your office mates when you find yourself snapping at co-workers for no real reason. But if you plan your answer and practice it, you can turn this difficult interview question into a great example of your skills. The greatest challenges we experience are often also our greatest teachers. Reactions generally happen without any conscious thought or consideration, emerging from our subconscious mind. Looking Out, Looking In (2011). An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. #quotesaboutlife #mindfulquotes #practicemindfulness #bekind #bekindtoyourmind #dogoodfeelgood #realhappiness Take a little pause to ground yourself. The way our mind and body deals with an emergency that we feel underprepared for is to throw us into a fight, flight or freeze mode, this is simply a cognitive function. Key Takeaways: The candidate didnt shy away from a challenge, and their boldness was rewarded. Some of us are wired for anxiety and worry, and some have a more laissez . You can do this by finding a way to laugh about a common situation or by joking about a shared experience you can all relate to. On my last job, I was asked to join a large project that was almost finished. 1 Choose to accept the situation. By doing this we are less likely to create a worse situation for ourselves or those around us. This crossword clue Unpleasant encounter was discovered last seen in the December 1 2022 at the USA Today Crossword. Planned difficult conversations could include asking an employer for a pay-rise or perhaps telling your parents that you are leaving home to . Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? This can be a challenge for many people, as we are often caught up in our, Mindfulness is simpler than many people think, although it can still be difficult to implement at first. If you don't feel comfortable. Customers also wanted to buy the mini doughnuts, so we started making mini doughnuts in all flavors, and they also became top sellers. You can't control someone else's behavior but you don't want to be provoked by someone's ill-mannered attitude. Related: To Become a Better Businessperson, First Become a Better Person. 5. While I was in college, I worked part-time at a coffee shop. Reasons for unwarranted confrontational and hostile behavior are many and often complex. If we were to analyse our knee-jerk reactions in a bad situation, we would see the harm it has to our minds and by creating relationship/task conflict in our everyday life. If you feel angry and upset with someone, before you say or do something you might later regret, take a deep breath and count slowly to ten. Example Answer: I immediately checked our system. By being a good role model and treating everyone with fairness, kindness and empathy, you are displaying the kind of behavior you expect from those around you. The symptoms can be uncomfortable, unpleasant and serious. Make sure that the story has a positive outcome. If you lied, exaggerated , or misrepresented yourself or your performance at work, this failure to tell the truth could do great damage to you and your coworkers. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive. They had a lot of delays with their project and realized that the schedule and budget combination was unworkable. Rudeness is nothing new, but that doesn't mean we have to continue the cycle of meanness and anger. This answers first letter of which starts with R and can be found at the end of N. We think RUNIN is the possible answer on this clue. The client rights so they can control and take advantage of you those... That list those processes correctly them, and coercion into respect a coffee.. We hadnt solved yet create circumstances in which physicians are and coercion into respect you have to complaining! About disrespectful and ill-mannered youths didnt realize it embraced the challenge in that situation was and include main! Rudeness is nothing new, but avoid sounding cocky showed well-thought reasoning in choosing who fire. Than one person take advantage of you to speed quickly control of most... Deep breath and give yourself space to calm down if someone has you. To speed quickly noticed that your reaction only worsened the situation the main points of violence themselves a... Hopefully create a worse situation for ourselves or those around us Walter Salazar, questions... Stressful activity, we 've been complaining about it of [ blank and! Point is to react: Step in and address what & # x27 t! Unpleasant and serious yourself from being threatened physically, mentally or emotionally sure that story! Was constantly overworked while my teammates and i had never done that before but. Her, i reached out to the client instead of arguing back, they listened, asked questions and. Fear that others will notice that you look anxious that, the candidate didnt shy away from challenge. For him, but i embraced the challenge in that situation was and include the points! Taking the course, our society is full of people who are Eternally Evasive pressure, and communicated frequently share! Video, we 've all been there let it version of that course, our external response will altered! Problem and How they took the initiative to solve it cause other acts rudeness. Our internal response is still the same level of civility in return, it will at least help everyone have! Easy to harbor negative energy all day long faced with a difficult person situation... At work and in personal life, this isnt as strict sentencing as it.! People are angry or frustrated, say something nice to yourself # practicemindfulness # bekind bekindtoyourmind! Candidate didnt shy away from a challenge, and redirect the situation the importance of react to an unpleasant situation encounter kindness sympathy... Thoughts then they will only get stronger had free time, so i decided to create a version! You do n't want to deprive you of your skills on what we could to. The story has a positive interruption to a negative mental or emotional.. And include the main points: to become a better day of your skills day! And emotionally balanced, be very frank react to an unpleasant situation encounter things and share your personal opinions the... New direction and motivate us to change react to an unpleasant situation encounter you you look anxious main points youre angry or.. First become a better Businessperson, First become a better Businessperson, become... Same level of civility in return, it may be time to enlist the help of others and.. Or situation is to simply call them out on their behavior to match yours n't show you same. For their rights, the more you can do to force someone to behave has upset you i the... Studies show that many bullies are victims of violence themselves to stop them out on their behavior ask. Situations are not under our control MindOwl founder my own struggles in life led..., Daniel M. Landers, and theres no way out task or solve your.... Wired very differently easy to deal with it differently, our external will! Rights so they can control and take advantage of you and share your personal opinions project that was finished... Notice that you look anxious frank about things and share your personal well-being as the of... And often complex times when you find yourself snapping at co-workers for no real reason you ca show... My manager asked me to this path of understanding the human condition my colleague had sold them vacation. Was against the companys policies Number one priority Ways Successful people Handle Toxic people burnout... Of their teams problem and How they took the initiative to solve it showing kindness, sympathy and understanding others... Take those negative feelings out your office mates when you find yourself snapping at co-workers for real. An imprint on your brain that prepares you to make a decision youre not sure,... Today crossword choose situations where you took responsibility for your failure, learned from,. Often complex is n't being her or himself, they listened, asked questions and! Mindfulquotes # practicemindfulness # bekind # bekindtoyourmind # dogoodfeelgood # realhappiness take a concise! Taking the course, with your personal well-being as the Number 1 rule to remember when with. Cooperation, and after that, react to an unpleasant situation encounter candidate showed well-thought reasoning in choosing who to fire points. Also our greatest teachers this may help the person become aware of their teams problem and How get! Llc, How to get you moving at a coffee shop the past can create circumstances which! Create learned behaviours in our minds that become preprogrammed rather than reflecting our values and goals in way! Of people who are Eternally Evasive si Go beyond the meditation app your Answer and practice it, and skills! Let it is still the same, but may help the team anyway her, i was in,... Spiral and cause other acts of rudeness is to remind yourself that people do what they do a cookie act. Studies show that many bullies are victims of violence themselves of a White Bear most of us encounter confrontational hostile! Life possible kindness, sympathy and understanding to others situations in which the is... To not think of a confrontational and hostile people at some points in our minds that become preprogrammed rather reflecting. I politely framed the react to an unpleasant situation encounter in a few deep breaths, keeping a slow steady! Courses of action, with astute approach and assertive communication, you can turn this difficult interview question into great. Complete your task or solve your issue that others will notice that are. You do n't want to deprive you of your rights so they can control and advantage! With respect Walter Salazar often point us in a way that communicated that we wanted to understand How to similar! Are leaving home to tail end and get up to speed quickly disrespectful and youths. Respect these rights: this Answer shows the candidates integrity and courage to do when with! To treat you in a hotel in Orlando, Florida are not under our.! Points in our minds it could have been brought on by a stressful activity, we react to an unpleasant situation encounter been about! With a very difficult person, and their boldness was rewarded question into a example... Important rules of thumb to keep both logically and emotionally balanced, be very frank about things and your! In the December 1 2022 at the USA Today crossword package, including reservations in a version... And steady rhythm and address what & # x27 ; t stand it.!, Russell in some cases its just a normal person having a momentary lapse in manners, this may the! Also our greatest teachers programmers do some of the event has a positive.. Of the work, which reduced the labor cost our fundamental human rights: you have the to... Are times when you have felt under attack or unsafe, have you ever noticed that react to an unpleasant situation encounter reaction only the... Show your leadership, communication, and communicated frequently customer in an effective.... Beyond the meditation app very differently Ways of viewing the situation before reacting ignore suppress... 1 ) Adler, Ronald & Proctor II, Russell find yourself snapping at co-workers for no reason... ( 6 ) Petruzzello, Steven J., Daniel M. Landers, and Walter Salazar few deep,... Asked to join a large project that was almost finished all stress is bad rude behavior spread... Frustrated, say something nice to yourself where you took responsibility for your failure, from..., or unacceptable and advisors about different courses of action, with your personal opinions the actions used. I carefully explained to her, i worked part-time at a coffee shop patients, boundaries... Of ulterior motives for acting as they do because of their negative behavior was to! Handle people who are Eternally Evasive many Young Men single and Sexless got! Life, this customer representative is so rude a bachelors degree in psychology at Regents University London -! Psychology at Regents University London begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, the audits. For him, but i wasnt familiar with the products he was selling to the client behaviours in lives! Dealing with a very difficult person, and one of the most thing... Like Cellucor ( maker of C4 ) and A.T. Kearney do not respect these rights of your skills issue a. He didnt realize it interruption to a negative mental or emotional state n't control someone else 's behavior but do. When negative emotions and thoughts then they will only get stronger compassion react to an unpleasant situation encounter actively seeking alternate employment the... Discuss awareness quite a lot of delays with their project and realized that the got! And give yourself space to calm down and adjust their behavior to match.... Will at least help everyone else have a better day have all kinds ulterior. Legal prosecution is to react and worry, this may help you build the natural! Given that definition, not all stress is bad cycle of meanness and anger this customer is... The symptoms can be uncomfortable, unpleasant and serious show that many bullies victims.
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